tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1970927334223123519.post9151733717243020991..comments2020-12-22T14:45:20.593+01:00Comments on Euro Like Me: Letter to a Woman on the Vergepathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14675993483165955805noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1970927334223123519.post-45354500776099621092008-03-01T09:43:00.000+01:002008-03-01T09:43:00.000+01:00Elizabeth: As always, thank you for reading (and t...Elizabeth: As always, thank you for reading (and thinking seriously about) what I wrote. I think you're right, and adopting an older child would mean some difficulties we just haven't had. I hope I didn't underestimate them in the letter I sent to this prospective mom....<BR/>Flashtrigger: Thank you for your thoughts. Your phrase "Before years" is a pretty amazing use of words, and your comments are very much appreciated here at Euro Like Me. Please come again!pathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14675993483165955805noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1970927334223123519.post-13430997868238458412008-02-29T23:51:00.000+01:002008-02-29T23:51:00.000+01:00I was adopted when I was 14: old enough to fake be...I was adopted when I was 14: old enough to fake being okay while also having the choice <I>not</I> to tell my history. Years of that really did a lot of harm, and no one told me to hide, it was something I chose to do, "for the good of the family".<BR/>Not having children myself I can't relate to you quite so much in that manner, but I wanted to thank you, and all other adoptive parents or even those thinking to adopt, especially older kids. It's tough but you're giving the kids something that can't be manufactured or bought. Giving a child the opportunity to trust and hope can help ease the searing rawness of their Before years...it can't erase it, but it does help. As for adopting kids who may be too young to have or remember Before years, you're giving them them the opportunity to trust and hope that they may not have otherwise received.<BR/>Okay I'm going on and on, for that I apologise; I'm just wanting to give my appreciation. Thank you.Flashtriggerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01945806731450372205noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1970927334223123519.post-49072902481066945082008-01-10T04:24:00.000+01:002008-01-10T04:24:00.000+01:00Pat - Wonderful post. So deeply thought. I have lo...Pat - Wonderful post. So deeply thought. I have lots of thoughts, and I'll let you decide whether to put it up to be read by others. As you so rightly said, you adopt because you want a child, plain and simple. I'd like to add that, as a person who's has both adoptive and biological kids, once a person puts a baby in your arms - whether it's a labor and delivery nurse or an orphanage worker - that baby is 100% yours, and the love, the worry, everything, is the same.<BR/><BR/>Adopting a four-year-old child, however is adopting a person with a history. Not knowing the history in this situation, I can't speak to the specifics of this situation. But adoption of older children, while a wonderful thing to do, should be undertaken carefully and thoughtfully. Many think an older child will be "easier" than a baby. Nothing could be further from the truth. Potty training and sleeping through the night are a cake walk compared to the complex challenges of adopting an older child. Attachment issues are huge, difficult, and often require LOTS of professional help. Good luck.Elizabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11889294120616809157noreply@blogger.com