Tuesday, January 30, 2007

It's as Inevitable as the Tides

Resolved: Today is not a good day to listen to Big Star's Third, the Fairport Convention song about the guy who kills his one true love because he thinks she's a raven, or any other sad or lost music.

We moved to Vienna a little less than two years ago, with the crazy idea that we could buy a nice apartment and I could pay the bills by deploying my dapper eloquence with the English language, as a writer, a teacher, or maybe a proofreader. We bought the apartment. Paying the bills is another bag of hammers.

I've taught journalism and English, I've proofread several fabulous books, and written for a very cool technology magazine here. I've learned enough German to make myself understood at pharmacies and playgrounds. I know that at the grocery store, you gotta pay for your stuff, and bag it up yourself, and all very quickly because those Austrians in line behind you want to do the same AND GET OUT OF HERE NOW!! (more on this later). But the question is, will I make it? Can I find a gig where I make enough money to take care of myself and my family, and don't feel my soul being sucked out through my eyeballs?

I don't have the answer to this today. I mean I feel that I know, yeah, sure, it's all gonna work out. But.....well, maybe I should just sell a little, tiny bit of my soul.

I think about an interview I did with a singer once: he told me that the only way he could keep getting in the van to tour, and keep battling various road-borne fungi and band in-fighting, and keep eating shitty food and playing in toilet clubs, was to simply decide that fuck it--'Tonight, I'm gonna get onstage and be awesome.'

I'll try that.

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