Flashback #76

(This is a journal entry from almost two years ago. She still likes this song.....)

It seems natural that a child who came from your belly, or who looks like you physically would feel some sort of deep connection with you and would inspire deep feelings in you. That's "just natural" and it's "God's way" and it's "instinctive." But I don't know because I've never had that sort of a kid.

All I know is that Adinah and I have got a good thing going on, especially now that she's into the same music that I'm into. Well, she's into one song that I'm into: the classic ska tune "Monkey Man." Toots and the Maytals did the oldest version that I have, but some of my most teen new wave moments, and there were many, were played out to the Specials neo-ska version of "Monkey Man." Adinah seems to favor the song, and either version of it, mostly because of the chorus: "Aye-yai-yai, Aye-yai-yai (digga digga!)!" She sings along and shakes her bottom, and in doing so, also shakes her entire upper half. It's such a cool dance, but I certainly couldn't imitate it.

The question is, 'Why do I love the fact that she loves this song?' Because this is me reflected back from her. My passion, my history, a part of me, lighting up her eyes when she sings along and makes the gorilla noises at the same time that I do.

Maybe that means I'm narcissistic, like every parent. It's not sensational to say that some of the deeper connections that happen between people--between friends, family, lovers and even strangers--involve some degree of vanity, some element of seeing yourself reflected back at you from someone else: it's touching to think another sentient being is listening and paying enough attention to you to give you instant playback. But it's also pretty goddamn touching to think that something about you might have actually touched someone else, might have moved them or poked them right there in their soul.

Okay, one could say, 'It's just a catchy song,' or, 'Jeez, you made her listen to that terrible old song?' or even, ' 'Monkey Man' is clearly not Toots and the Maytals' finest work,' although I might really get pissed at anyone who said this last thing. But it's also possible that she loves the song because she can see that I love it. Or that she acts like she loves the song because she knows that might shake a few more cookies outta papa.

Say what you want. Fine. But whatever is going on over here at our place, I like it.