Saturday, April 28, 2007
the old gigs
Naturally, I'm not supposed to blog about my new job, so with apologies to Bukowski's Factotum, I'd like to offer my past and future Employee Index.
Most Ridiculous Job Ever Held:
Arcade Attendant and Manager, Austin, Texas, 1983? My duties included giving change, even though there was a change machine, and scolding Scientologists for smacking around the pinball machines.
Number of Movie Theatres I worked at in Austin and San Antonio:
Number of Ice Cream Parlors I worked at:
Worst On-the-Job Injury Ever:
While working in a shopping mall taco stand, I chopped up a mess of jalapeno peppers, got the juice on my fingers, and didn't wash my hands. Ten minutes later, I put in my contact lenses.
Most Justifiably Unpaid Job Held:
Manager of a rock band. I criticized the drummer for "ting-tinging" too much.
Profession in Which I Least Excelled:
Best Exchange Witnessed Within the New York City Magazine Business:
"We should do a music feature on Stone Temple Pilots."
"Because they sound just like Pearl Jam, but they do press."
Most Shameful Resignation:
Quitting my gig as a photographer's assistant by leaving a note on his apartment door.
Most Uncharacteristic Gig for Someone who has Trouble Operating a Can Opener:
Writing about technology for Wired magazine.
Second Most Uncharacteristic Gig:
Writing about water monitoring technology for a Viennese water monitoring company.
Coolest One Day Job:
Production Assistant for a Bill Moyers TV special on the history of the song "Amazing Grace." We shot one scene in a sweltering Baptist church in a rough neighborhood in Philadelphia, and the choir who sang the song were amazing.
Dream Job, age 70:
the guy in the Godzilla suit for Godzilla Versus Glendale (in production, 2032)