Back when we were still considering whether we should take V. in to live with us, Anette asked her brother-in-law, who's a doctor, about her and her background. He suggested we talk with a great cousin of his, who treats and researches kids just like V. When she spoke to him back then, the cousin doctor offered to see V. in his office at some future date. So on Monday, Anette packed up V. and they went to see the man.
V. napped on the way out there, and apparently she was a little sleepy at first, but after a few minutes, she and the doctor were having long, deep gibberish conversations. He handed her a few toys, but she just tossed them aside and explored the room. Like she does with lots of casual acquaintances and people on the U-bahn, V. called him "Mah-mee" and wanted to sit on his lap.
After awhile, Anette and the Doc got down to brass tacks, and she got the usual mix of good news and bad news. He told her he thinks V. is quite intelligent, which is nice for us to hear, though not actually news to us. But when Anette asked about V.'s restless sleep pattern (or lack of one), the Doc told her that will probably last for awhile. Like two years. [How do I make the emoticon for REM-deprived parent? ): maybe?] The good news here was that, according to this Doc, V.s spasmodic, bolt-awake type of "rest" probably has nothing to do with what her biological moms did or did not imbibe before, during and after pregnancy.
The Doc also said that we shouldn't fret too much about her eagerness to go to strangers. He thinks that only means that even after she's been hurt by some of the people in her early life, she still likes and trusts people in general.
He also had a thought about our smallest one and V.s tendency to hurl toys or her tea bottle across the room. He said that if she's been left or put down by some of the people in her life, this might just be her chance to throw something away herself.
That got me.
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5 comments:
ouch.
Right?
Ouch. When I used to prosecute cases against people who hurts kids, my heart just ached for the kids. Glad that most of your news was good.
Oh. Well that had to be hard to hear. But there were positives, too. I imagine it would be very hard to tell what traits are nothing more than individual quirks, and what are based on her particular experience.
My son used to hurl things because it resulted in attention from someone when they picked it up and brought it back to him. Almost like a guaranteed way to bring people to him.
That got to me, too, Pat, but mostly it was optimistic so let's stay there for the moment.
Tina
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