Friday, June 29, 2007

re: brain, exploding of

Look, it's not you, it's me. I've been such a fool. But now I'm back. And tonight, I'm yours.

I've...I've been busy. A lot has happened. One of my favorite students left me because his girlfriend left him. He asked me to call him and I haven't. After a month and a half at my other job, I've been promoted, so I've been responsible as hell lately. On our third day in a new office space, nine of our clients, from young to very old, got stuck in an elevator on their way up to see us. I dialed the fire department and then handed the phone over to someone who speaks better German.

My new hectic life has stressed me out, and I've had fights with my wife because of it and I feel bad and I don't know what to do because the stress will probably continue.

Arnold Schwarzenegger has come to Vienna for a visit and left again. I'm sure the Orange Party nationalists were very excited about this.

One day, I saw a twenty-something Turkish kid wearing a t-shirt that read Miami Cocaine Connection. I wanted to smack him. Then I decided to smack whatever idiot(s) manufactured that shirt.

On another day, I met a Jewish man on a bus, who is on his way to the USA. He told me he'd left his homeland in the middle East because the government there accused him of being a spy for Israel.

"Was there a trial?" I asked him.

"Yes! There was a trial!" he said with big eyes and a smile. "There was a trial with whipping. I was whipped and then I went to prison."

Tonight I'm going to the movies by myself for the second night in a row.

Have I become a more solitary person? I don't know. It seems to be a great effort for me to make a date with another human to go out and, you know, talk. I get busy on MOnday, Tuesday and Wednesday, and then Thursday night comes and I'm at the movies alone again.

Last night, I bought a plate full of curry at a Thai food stand in the park (it was delicious.) The young Thai woman behind the counter let me taste the sauce first, then she said, in German, "Is it too spicy for you?"

I put the spoon in my mouth, waited, and then said, "Nichts." Nothing.

Oh, well, for some people here, it's too much, she said.

"Ich bin aus Texas," I said.

The woman immediately switched to English. But I wouldn't speak English back to her, only German. I'm not sure why.


more cowbell said...

The "growing more solitary" question. Yeah. Why is that? I don't like it.

pat said...

Maybe after you get a little older, you've heard so many voices of other people, you need more time to listen to your own. Or just not listen to anything and stare into space. I think staring into space is underrated.
I think I know what you mean, though. I don't like the sound of "growing more solitary." Sounds like something we are not supposed to do.