I'm sorry that I've been out of touch. I'm sorry I haven't returned your phone call/e-mail/blog comment/love letter. I didn't mean it personally--I'm just terrible, I guess. No, actually, I've been away. Away in a beautiful place with candy pillows and billowy soft verbs that console and comfort my brain. Sorry about that.
The thing is, I didn't mean to let it go for so long, this lazy communicator thing, I mean. I just looked up and it was too late to reply, too nonsensical to write, too middled aged of me to have time to take care of my friends because I'm trying to scribble down my thoughts about the World of Me, and I'm obsessed with buying Pampers because they don't leak like the other brands and I'm trying to manage my managers because they keep asking for more of my soul and I've got to whitewash this fence outside of our place, too, you know. Shit, I let some truth creep into that last sentence. That's probly because I was trying to be funny and make sense at the same time.
Anyway, like I was saying, my bad. I'm really gonna try being better about calling. I'm gonna stop leaving e-mails open on my desktop as a way to remind me to reply. I know that's bad for my computer (or something). So I'm going to start using Stickies instead.
I just...need...a...moment. So, uh, yeah, I'll...be right back.