Saturday, May 17, 2008

the thin pink line

So outta nowhere, Anette bought me three nice new shirts. (Well, maybe she was responding to my awesome Mothers' Day present to her, but...) Normally, this would be all Good. But one of them has caused a bit of a furor here at the Euro Like Me editorial headquarters. Here it is:



This may finally be too much for me. Note the tight fit, the plunging neckline, and, well, the hue. Because, as an American male heterosexualist, I can only go so far over the thin pink line.

Once upon a time, I got a few kicks by provoking micro-bursts of homophobia, gender confusion and bizarre color prejudices simply by wearing a pink shirt. Even the most seemingly progressive people, particularly Americans, go Neanderthal when they see a man in pink. "Oooh, Pat, are you trying to tell us something?"

European men, even straight ones, seem much more comfortable rocking the rosa. But I just don't know if my transformation into a full-on, stinky cheese-eating, high tax paying, color-care-free Euro-dude is complete yet. It seems that the pink chickens may have come home to roost. Or maybe it's perfectly normal for a guy to occasionally ask, 'Do I look gay in this?'

And would it matter if I did? Some of my best girlfriends have been fag hags. (It's a very sneaky maneuver: at first, they think, 'He's gay-I'm safe.' Then you pounce.) And it's not like I haven't ever been mistaken for a lesbian. It feels a little funny the first time, but then you move on.

Is it really so important that strangers on the U-Bahn know which team I'm playing for? Apparently so.

9 comments:

Kristen said...

Pat:

What did you get her for Mother's Day -- a jockstrap, perhaps?

You send that homoerotic shirt to me right now.

pat said...

Okay, well, um, I'm gonna keep the shirt for a little bit longer. I'm starting to like it now. Brent needs more of a mauve-thing anyway.

Ed Ward said...

Jeez, Pat, think Elvis! PInk shirt, black slacks. If that ain't style, what is?

pat said...

Hmm, well you've got me there, Ed. But my preferred pop icon role model is Don Knotts, and he never wore pink at all....

cliff1976 said...

Pat said: "Don Knotts, and he never wore pink at all."

Pink wasn't in Mr. Furley's wardrobe?

pat said...

Doh! This is bad. I'm wrong about Don Knotts, wrong about Elvis. Now I just feel so...wrong. Sick and wrong.

Kristen said...

I really don't think Mr. Furley wore pink. Remember - he was a homophobe.

Now, Jack Tripper would have worn the pink striped shirt (with a small pair of terry cloth shorts) to the Regal Beagle any day of the week.

As for Brent, his eyelet lace (that's right, lace) makes a cameo appearance in Spoon's Underdog video. On the back of Hunter Darby who also makes a cameo appearance. But vertical stripes, pink or otherwise, are no friend to Brent.

C N Heidelberg said...

I love the shirt! My husband says he wouldn't wear it, though. Darn.
Pink used to be considered a masculine color because it is a shade of red (like blood/war). Blue was girly because it's soft and relaxing. Wonder if they'll switch off again someday?

pat said...

Yeah, i guess I was wrong. The shirt's fine. I'm wearing it pretty much all of the time now. I knew the thing about pink and blue having switched places on us. Did you also know that the song "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" began as an advertising jingle? I'd always thought it must have come from the New Testament, but...no.