Top Five All Time Worst Excuses for Domestic and/or International Conflicts

1) He/She/Iraq Started it! ("No, they didn't." "Yes, they did!" "No-they-didn't!")

2) She/He/France Never Listens! ("I'm sorry, what was that?")

3) He/She Won't Stop Making Faces at Me/Nasty Remarks about Israel! ("Just ignore her, honey.")

4) She/He Poked me with the Purple Pencil/Imprisoned one of our Journalists! ("That really hurt!")

5) He/She took the Last Cookie/Is an Infidel! ("I said, just ignore her!")